Marriage - One Flesh

On October 1, 2011 my wife, Dianne and I will have been married for 45 years.  For many years I have wondered why many married couples have such a problem making their marriage last.  The last time I checked many years ago the divorce rate was 58 per cent and of that 42 per cent left, 75 per cent were emotionally divorced but remain married because of kids, relatives, etc.  I just read an excerpt from a book by author Iris Krasnow entitled “The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes To Stay Married”.  This article confirms the last statement that about 10% of marriages are really happy.  Based on her comments, the author has not figured it out either.  After many years of thought (45 to be exact) I believe I have a better understanding of how to have a good marriage.

Ephesians 5:31 states, “Instead-of this (a) MAN shall-leave-behind the father and the mother and he-shall-be-very-united to his wife and the two shall-be with-reference-to flesh, one.


How does a man and women become one flesh?  For a long time I thought this was made possible by the husband and wife having children.  Although this might be part of the answer I believe it goes much deeper.

Genesis 2:21 KJ“and the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;” 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.


The Hebrew word translated rib in the King James is “tsela” (6763 concordance reference).  The KJ translates this Hebrew word as follows – beam 1 time, board 2, chamber 2, corner 2, halting 1, leaf 1, plank 1, rib 2, side 19, side chamber 9, another 1, one 1.  No wonder there is confusion in the translations. Genesis 2 is the only two times the Hebrew word “tsela” is translated rib.  Tsela should be translated “side of” or “part of”.  This changes how this verse is understood.  As a kid I wondered why if the God took out a rib from Adam why I was not missing a rib since I am suppose to be in Adams’ image.

When the God created Adam, he was created with all the characteristics, emotions, etc. of both men and women.  When the God created woman He took a “side of” or a “part of” Adam and made a woman.  Now man and woman are trying to complete themselves and become one flesh again through marriage.  When you consider the many different characteristics of men and women you have to wonder how they ever make it together, but they have the God given desire to become one flesh.  Not knowing his religion, I was explaining this to a Catholic Church member not long ago and he stated, “That is why we have so much trouble in our Priesthood today”.  I do not know very many homosexuals or lesbians personally but they do not appear to be enjoying happiness as I know it.  They can never truly be one flesh with same sex relations.

I believe that if more people understood this principle they could better chose a mate they could spend a lifetime with.

Phil Nordan

303 Bay Street

Monroe, NC 28112